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Hey friends. One of the things I’ve been working on this past year is my social anxiety. Since I’m still settling in my new city, I’m still trying to make friends and create community for myself. So, I came up with a meditation to feel safe with new people and I want to share it with you today. Here’s it is! A simple meditation to ease social anxiety.
To start off, I actually never realized that I was socially anxious until I moved to Montreal from Utah 2 ½ years ago. But once I had to start completely over making friends and building my life here, I noticed that I felt uncomfortable in social settings.
Also, French is the first language people speak here. And even though I speak French, I learned a different version of it (I learned French from France, whereas people speak French Canadian here).
So, sometimes that makes it tricky to understand others and make myself understood as well. And I would definitely say the language contributes to my feeling anxious in social situations.
On the other hand, looking back at the experiences where I lived in new cities, I also had a hard time putting myself out there and feeling confident in my own skin.
While I’m working to address this with my therapist, I’m also doing my inner homework on my own time.
Since social anxiety is rooted in the belief that other people aren’t safe, I’m working to help myself feel safe around the people I actually want to connect with.
One of the things that’s helping me do that is a new meditation I created that I’ve started doing. And I’d like to share it with you now.
Note: this meditation is intended for situations of social anxiety but with people whom you’re truly safe around. If you’re in a toxic or abusive situation, this meditation isn’t appropriate.
First of all, go somewhere that’s quiet where you can relax and be alone.
Personally, I always meditate either on my couch or on my bed. Although, my cat usually likes to join me.
Also, I like to put my phone on silent so I don’t get disturbed during my meditation. This is me time!
Once I’m all snuggled in a blanket in a comfy, quiet place, I’m ready to start.
Now that I’m settled in, I decide how long I’m going to meditate.
If I’m really in the mood, I’ll set my timer for 20 minutes. But if I’m short on time or not in the mood to sit for too long, then I’ll just do 5 minutes.
There are no rules, so it’s really just up to you to decide how long you want to meditate! Set a timer on your phone and it’s go time.
Once you’ve set your timer, close your eyes and take some deep breaths.
Additionally, scan your body and take stock of what you’re feeling. Really connect to what’s going on inside of you.
Now, start tuning into your heart.
What I like to do is imagine a big white light that’s lighting up my entire chest. Spend a few moments connecting with your heart.
Next, imagine that your chest has a big door on it that keeps your heart nice and safe. You can see it has a handle or a doorknob that allows you to open and close it.
Now imagine that the door easily opens to showing that big light in your heart. Take some time feeling how your heart is open and safe.
With your heart nice and open, imagine the people you’d like to be more comfortable around. See them sitting in front of you and they have nothing but love and acceptance for you. And they’re SO happy that you’re showing them your heart.
Feel that it’s ok to be yourself with them.
Also, feel how you accept them just as they are. Then feel how you also deserve to be accepted as much as they do. Observe how everyone is relaxed and safe around each other.
Now that you’ve gathered everyone around you and your heart is shining and open, just be with this visualization. You’re safely yourself with this person or group of people.
Take some time to breathe in and out from your heart.
Then scan your body from head to toe. And give your entire body permission to relax and feel safe.
Now it’s time to end the meditation. Say goodbye to the people you imagined and send them back where you called them from.
Also, take a second to tell your heart this: “I’ll always protect you. Thank you.”
Hopefully this mediation with help ease your social anxiety. Personally, I like doing it at least once a week as I work through the deeper reasons behind why I’m socially anxious. What are some things that ease your social anxiety? Tell me in the comments.
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