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Hey friends. When I have an emotion come up but I’m not sure what it is, I like to investigate! I spend time with myself going over the feeling, asking myself questions so I understand it. If you’re looking for ways to understand your own feelings, here’s how to understand your emotions with 50 questions.

How to Understand Your Emotions with 50 Questions

When an emotion comes up, but you don’t know where it’s coming from it can be really frustrating. Recently, some of my readers have asked about how I personally process my emotions. So, I wanted to share what I do with you here.  

Setting Up

First of all, you can do this either in your head, by writing it down, or even by talking to yourself out loud or on a voice note in your phone.

Whichever way you choose, when I process my emotions I like to be alone. I’ll go somewhere where I can be by myself in the quiet.

Then I’ll start thinking or writing about the feeling. I’ll recall the feeling in as much detail as possible.

Getting to the Root

After that, I’ll start asking myself questions and examining the emotion from as many angles as possible. This is where the questions come in.

Now, start interviewing yourself about the emotion. The point isn’t to ask all 50 questions, although feel free if you want to! And they’re not in a certain order. Just keep in mind that you’re asking yourself whatever it takes to get to the root of why you feel a certain way. From there, you can gain clarity on what you need to do to help yourself feel better (we’ll talk about that a little further down).

50 Questions to Help Process Your Emotions

1. What happened to make me feel this way?
2. Why does this bother me so much?
3. Where is this coming from?
4. Is this the first time this has happened?
5. How many times has this happened?
6. Is this possibly a pattern that I keep creating?
7. Is this emotion linked to something I don’t like about myself?
8. Why don’t I like that about myself?
9. When was the first time I can remember this happening?
10. Could this be about something else?
11. Is there something else that’s actually bothering me?
12. Why does this person bother me so much?
13. Could this be about another person?
14. Could this be linked to my family?
15. Do I feel this way because I’m obligated to for some reason?
16. Am I trying to be someone I’m not in this situation?
17. What’s the most frustrating part about this?
18. What’s the saddest part about this?
19. What bothers me the most about this situation?
20. What am I afraid might happen here?
21. Why can’t I let go of this?
22. What would happen if I let go of this?
23. Why is it scary to let go of this?
24. What does this mean if I feel this way?
25. What does it mean about me as a person that I feel this way?
26. Why do I resist this feeling?
27. Why don’t I want to feel this way?
28. Why do I hate feeling this way?
29. What’s the thing I judge myself the most for with this feeling?
30. What do I really want out of this situation?
31. How can I get what I want?
32. Why don’t I think I can have this?
33. Is this really true?
34. Is it possible I’m jealous of another person?
35. Could there be something underneath this feeling?
36. Can I go deeper with this?
37. What’s standing in the way of getting what I want right now?
38. What if that wasn’t true?
39. Am I willing to see things differently?
40. What do I really need to happen?
41. What do I need from this situation?
42. Is there any action I need to take right now?
43. What can I do differently next time?
44. What is my emotion really trying to teach me?
45. What can I learn from this?
46. How can I feel more at peace right now?
47. What do I need to do to release this feeling?
48. Do I need support from someone else to help me release this?
49. Does this emotion show me a belief that I don’t like?
50. Why do I believe this?

Creating Emotional Closure

After you’ve spent time asking yourself questions about your feelings, now it’s time to create closure for yourself.

Ultimately, all of our emotions exist to help us take action and move forward. So, depending on what you discover while processing your emotions, it’s time to take action of some sort.

What does this mean?

For example, if you’re upset because someone else violated your boundaries, maybe a good way to move forward would be to address the situation with them and set a boundary.

Or maybe you’re angry with someone and you need to express it to them (hopefully in a calm way). Having the conversation about it can help you honor your emotion, while building trust in the relationship.

But what if you’re upset because of something you did or didn’t do that only affects you? Like if you didn’t follow through on one of your goals, or you didn’t speak up at a time that felt important to you. See how what you did (or didn’t do) upset you. Then, think about how you can recommit to honoring yourself and your wishes.

However, sometimes emotions just need to pass. If you decide that simply waiting the emotion out is the best thing for you, that’s also a great strategy.

At the end of the day, it’s up to you and making sure that you do what you need to help yourself feel better.

Processing Your Emotions

When you’re processing your emotions, don’t be afraid to ask yourself the ugly, scary questions. It’s just you, after all. No one is going to hear you or judge you. If you’re dedicated to processing the emotion and getting to the root, you’ll hopefully be able to.

However, don’t be afraid to reach out for support. If your emotions feel too scary, complex or unsafe, reach out to someone you trust or to a trained professional to help you work through it.

I hope this post helps you understand your feelings better and brings you inner peace.

Love,
Holly