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To begin, there are times that I seek other people’s validation over my own. And I’m not even aware I’m doing it! If you can relate, here are 50 signs your own validation isn’t enough for you.

50 Signs Your Own Validation Isn’t Enough

Did you know that it’s normal to want other people’s validation?

It’s true!

As humans, we’re social creatures who want acceptance and belonging. So, seeking other people’s validation is normal, natural and even healthy!

In fact, Oprah states that in the 35,000 interviews she’s conducted throughout her career, every single person asked for her validation afterward to confirm they had done a good job.

Yes, even Beyonce wanted to hear that validation from Oprah to tell her the interview went ok!

But when does seeking validation become a problem?

When Seeking Validation Becomes A Problem

If you’re reading this, you’re probably aware that at some point, looking for validation from others no longer feels good.

And when you’re constantly needing validation from others, it makes it very difficult to value your own personal validation.

According to Psychology Today:

“The problem arises when self-validation is not possible or is not valued. In other words, if an individual puts the opinion, approval, or recognition of someone else over their own feelings, they will need that external, other person’s validation on an ongoing basis.”

Meaning, you have to train yourself to start valuing YOUR OWN validation above other people’s. 

Honestly, it’s still something I’m personally working to overcome!

While I’ve made a lot of progress, I still find myself seeking other people’s validation over my own sometimes.

If this is something you’re working on as well, here are 50 signs your own validation isn’t enough. 

50 Signs You Seek Too Much Validation From Others

1. You constantly apologize 
2. You’re afraid to say no
3. You do things you don’t want to out of fear of saying no
4. You give long explanations when you say no
5. You discount yourself and your needs when you say no
6. You reject yourself when you disappoint someone else
7. You’re uncomfortable when people disagree with you
8. You feel upset when someone disagrees with you
9. You feel insulted when someone disagrees with you
10. You feel shame when someone disagrees with you
11. You need everyone to agree with you all the time
12. You’re afraid to stand up for yourself and your values
13. You never stand up for yourself
14. You avoid conflict at all costs 
15. You always back down when someone challenges you
16. You pretend to agree even if you don’t
17. You’re afraid to say what you really think
18. You never try because you’re afraid of making mistakes
19. You change your opinion based on who you’re with
20. Not getting approval makes you sad
21. You’re always trying to be perfect
22. You need everyone to like you at all costs
23. You need everyone to like you, even if you don’t like them
24. You say things you don’t really mean to get people to like you
25. You beat yourself up when you get negative feedback 
26. You feel anxious or upset when you’re criticized 
27. You obsess about how to get someone’s approval
28. You change your position when someone disapproves
29. You rationalize your position when someone pushes back
30. You discount yourself when people don’t give their validation
31. You pay insincere compliments just for approval
32. You seek/fish for compliments from other people
33. You feel hurt when you don’t get compliments
34. You gossip just to get attention
35. You act out to get attention
36. You do things on purpose for attention
37. You ask permission when it’s not needed
38. You feel anxious when you don’t have permission, even if it’s not needed
39. You limit your own success if you don’t have someone else’s approval
40. You need your parents to approve of everything you do
41. You need your parents to approve of your profession
42. You let your parents dictate your life
43. You change your position if your parents don’t approve
44. You tell people what they want to hear then do the opposite 
45. You feel other people are more important than you
46. You feel you have to explain all of your actions
47. You feel the need to explain your positions to get people to agree with you
48. You pretend to know something out of fear of saying you don’t know
49. You sexualize yourself online
50. You post online just for likes and feel bad when you don’t get them

Seeking Your Own Validation First

While at times we do need other people’s validation, if you constantly find yourself doing some of the above behaviors, it’s time to make a change. 

Remember that you are your own person! More importantly, you’re an individual and you’re just as important as anyone else. It’s time to start prioritizing your own validation first. 

Have you ever found yourself doing some of the above behaviors to find validation?

Let’s work on it together!

Click here to discover how good it feels to start validating yourself.